Here are the various bits of wisdom gained during my trip to Vegas:
1. I learnt that there is no such thing as a bad Cirque du Soleil show.
There are just varying degrees of magic.
We watched ‘Zarkana‘. Apparently ‘O‘ is the one that’s the most magical.
2. I learnt that you can be in France or Italy or Egypt right here in Vegas.
Here I am in Paris, Vegas dressed as a French unicorn.
3. I learnt about Kenpo in Vegas.
Kenpo is like karate but it isn’t and it is the perfect thing to learn if someone is trying to kick your ass and you don’t want them to so you take that kick, redirect it and return it to them so it ends up in their own butt and it hurts.
Yah, that’s the basic idea.
The Kenpo centre in Vegas is owned by the legendary Jeff Speakman. I met him (YAY)!
He is actually very charismatic but does have a commanding aura that makes you wanna stand at attention when he walks in.
Amongst his many successes, the one that resonates the most for me at this point is his kicking cancer in the ass! May he have a long and healthy life and provide inspiration to all of those around him. Amen.
Here we take another little break and send prayers, thoughts and healing to everyone who needs healing from an illness. I mean it – shush now and take a minute 🙂
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Thank you 🙂
Aaaand one of the kenpo instructors is the legendary Robert 🙂
He is one of those who seems to have more than 24 hours in his day and, despite the crazy schedule he has, has found time to add a black belt to his closet (not the leather type).
I learnt being able to fit into a 12 year old boy’s karate gi comes in handy at times.
I also learnt that sometimes you first need to pull someone close to you to get them off you. Throws them off – literally.
I actually really enjoyed the training I got. It teaches you to avert any kind of attack you might encounter: punches, kicks, knife attacks – anything. It is not the kind of martial art you do in front of the mirror to feed the crush you have on yourself. It is actually done in front of a predator to crush them and it works.
Check out your local Kenpo academy and GO.
3. I learnt how to photoshop the butts off these ladies so I could keep this blog family-friendly hehe. We really did think we were going to a cabaret but, what were we thinking, this is Vegas!!
Crazy girls – it turned out to be a titty show but was actually as classy as can be, all things considered.
Putting it in the ‘When in Rome’ box and still feeling relatively well-behaved considering all the other vices there 🙂
Do go if you want a tamer taster of the wild side of Vegas.
4. I learnt that you are not allowed to take photos in Casinos in Vegas. So you gotta be really quick and press that button before the security guard comes and yells at you. Here’s a rare instance of me deliberately breaking the rules – don’t tell anyone shhhhhhh…
5. I learnt that you always gotta have the camera handy in Vegas as strange beings surround you everywhere.
Strange green ivy monsters.
Close up of strange green ivy monster. Quite beautiful for a monster.
6. I learnt Vegas creates problems, but Vegas also provides solutions.
My favorite is the best hangover cure I have heard of – IV drip that has you feeling like a 20 year old college student all over again despite what went on the night before. Get the details here at Hangover Heaven. They actually have a fully equipped mobile bus that drives up and down the Strip saving people from their anguish.
What a genius idea, what a great place to set up shop!
Encore un fois, party on peeps.
7. I learnt that you can take two waffles and juxtapose a hedonistic mountain on it made up of fried chicken, smoked bacon, and fried leeks, drench it with maple syrup and eat it! Sounds like this should be promptly followed up with projectile vomiting but it actually tastes pretty good.
I learnt to not to question it when Rob recommends things like this on the menu. I will be eternally grateful to him for introducing me to gumbo as well as fried okra. YUM!
I learnt that if you are going to do this, you’re going to have to do this in Hash House a Go Go. It really is one of the most popular places and frequented by many a celebrity. Thus, I now officially have something in common with Mike Tyson, Martha Stewart and Dr. Phiyyyyl all in one go.
9. I learnt to watch out for these little ones here. They tend to grow on you in lightning speed and make you wonder if you should put down that back-pack and grow some roots and fruits somewhere.
G’ bye cutie pie/Pewdiepie! Your little smile stole my little heart. May sunshine and blessings light your way always <3
10. Lastly, I learnt that your trip doesn’t count unless you take a photo here. Really.
Thank you for taking me on the road less traveled.
As usual, it’s been a hell of an adventure 🙂